these r the shits tht run thru my pwetty lil head lmao

5…4…3…2…1 * We wish you the best of luck, and congratulate you on completing your PMR examination* HELLL YEAHHHH!

October 1st - 5th 2007 was the week of my PMR. And its finally over! After months of studying and naggin from my mum, its finally over! Hell broke loose when they announced we cud leave the examination hall. Me n Jil were laughin n smiling our butts off. Oliver was shoutin hallelujah-freedom! But Mira ran off to her dad to go home.lol.

I am finally free to do wat i want, when i want it! Today ima go out with my frens and have sum fun! Im also gonna look for a job after school to earn sum cash n to stay out of the house.lol. The feeling of it just lifts me up and i am awesomely happy that it is finally over! A few papers were kinda hard which was pretty much unfair since the past year papers were so damn easy! But hey, its all good. I am kinda worried bout my english essay tho - i wrote 514 words. which is apparently not a good thing =/

All for now, im goin out soon =P Hav Fun PMRers!!!!!

as part of therapy of being newly single, i had a third piercing done on my right ear on wednesday. but i guess tht just wasnt enough so on saturday i went out with jon and a couple of other people. We went to brewball n had beers until i finally got tipsy. then we all went to dragonfly n got piercings done.lmao. it was awesome! n i got a friggin nose piercing n it bloody rocks! i have pictures but i cant load it bcoz my usb porter aint workin so i cant use my mouse. right now, im using my mum’s laptop so i cant load em here. pfft! but if u wanna get a nose piercing done, i swear u wud b terrified at first, but then… u wud bloody love it! i did. n guess what? my mum still has no clue about it! xx

Oh wow, its a whole new month; July. JOY!

its the eve of my monthly tests and here i am, fat and lazy, awaiting my aunt n uncle to take me out to a party in hartamas =)

i woke up a lil later than usual today n well, yesterday since i dun hav to b ready by 6.30 to get to school. so i took my joyous time getting ready and having a proper breakfast made by the maid im oh-so thankfull for in this house. Its kinda good livin like this. =] i get to school 15 mins before the gates clothes n i strut my ass into class. nicely set my bag n went over to the next class as usual. Mira was there as usual n our laughter instantly started =P School was normal except mira n jil cudnt keep their hands off me n safar’s asses. for the past week, they’ve been smackin our asses like hell!! So after school, i took the bus to sean’s school. waited for him n all. went to my place to get sum stuff n i went back to my aunts. n then i realise, OMG I hav tests tmr n im like.. relaxed?! n now, im about to go to a party.lol

So, during tea, me n my uncle started talkin bout this whole stepmum n me issue tht i had bout a few weeks ago. LONG STORY DO NOT ASK!. n he found it stupid as well. so we cheered to our cokes n went to get ready. n so after tht, here i am; listenin to LoveStoned by JT on the tv n bloggin. And my uncle hopes tht the whole stupid issue did not affect my interests in bloggin. Pfft! As if i care tht much bout wat people say -.-" REPUTATION MY ASS. sorry, just had to say it. sigh. oh gtg.. we’re goin out now! bye!!

xx

Day: Saturday. Time: 12:12pm. Mood: bored,scruffy,lonely^^

hahaha. so yeah, im at my aunts due to.. 1 miserable reason; my mum went to the US to see a certain someone n cudnt b bothered to bring me alone. THE NERVE OF THAT WOMEN! hahahah. but inaveryweirdsortaway, its a good thing. I get 2 n 1/2 weeks of.. less torture with books n she gets a great holiday in the US travellin to New york, LA, n utah. BLAHHH.

last night was weird, i was incredibly sleepy so i went up to bed at bout 11.30?? so yeah.. i was on the phone with sean for a while, having our usual goodnight-phonecalll. So okay, we said our goodnight, our iloveyous, and our I FRIGGIN LOVE YOUS, and went off to bed. but i was up for a while longer smsing Jilian. She was.. yeah, pretty off last night. SO okay, i was in the middle of replyin her-when i dift off to sleep. typicalmelissa. hahaha. so yeah.. then suddenly i heard this beeping sound n i wondered "dude.. is tht the fire alarm or smth coz i definately do not hav to go to school today" i opened my eyes, n i found myself sleepin on my phone -.-" so i look at it, n this voice sayin "ur recording time has passed its limit" i was like. WHATTHEFUCK?! p.s this was at 5.58 in the morn.lol.  so i look closely n wiped my eyes so it was tht blur. i noticed tht i made a call to jilian. n it has been goin on for bout 3 mins. i was like.. i hate it when this happens. n whats even weirder is tht, if i made a call to her when i was asleep (prolly by rolling on the phone too much =/) y didnt she just hang up after a few quiet seconds??

anyways, i woke up in the morn -blurrer as ever coz i didnt hav a good nights sleep- the dogs were barking. sigh. and i just noticed tht i feel super..lonely?? i miss miss miss him so much. eventho i just saw him like, yesterday? n it was a very great yesterday i might add =P babe, u know what im talkin bout^^. i cant wait to get outta here n get to school n see HIM.

i’ll prolly b bloggin a lot this weekend since, well, im BORED. n im suppose to b studyin.so yeah. CIAO~ iloveyousean! =]

i got up this morning, wishing i didnt have to go to school. after all, i was having a bad sore throat (now worse) and i had a terrible night before. So i drag myself off the bed and wished it wud rain so at least, i cud tell my mum ` mum can i not go to school coz the van driver left me again coz of the rain`. but neah.. the sky was pitch black (duhh.. 6 am in da morn)

So i went on.. brushed my teeth.. bla bla bla. prepared my breakfast. n i dunno why, i felt like having toast n tea. so okay, i made tea. I thought i would be able to finish it by 6.30 since thts when i was suppose to leave. No.. sumhow, i was just late. i left my tea on the radio, grab my toasts, my bag n shoes.. slapped the radio off and slammed the door n ran down to my van-who wasnt there yet -.- .

School was alright, the usual.. just smth felt off. i guess, lotsa things ran thru my head. i do realize i say and do stupid things im not supposed to do. I have apologised for em, n yet sumhow i recreate them and end up hurtin myself and others. I hate myself for it The night before, my boyfriend said he couldnt trust me in anything i do anymore. that made me feel bad. i`ve failed him. ive done wrong again. and so.. i weeped the night away. Wishing i was just someone else. Wishing, i could make things right and never do the things he and i hate. He cant forgive me anymore coz, he just kept forgiving me every single time. and i repeat everything. I admit, i am a girl filled with jealousy. I lash out on people easily.. its how i basically react to things to protect myself. But to think that, he coudlnt trust me anymore.. i felt bad. really bad. But he said he loves me.

Heres what i think. Love just aint love without trust.  If there aint no trust.. it basically means, theres no love. I do trust him. i do, just.. not entirely with my life n soul. Ive done that before, i ended up getting real hurt. So i restrained myself from trusting. But he changed me in a way. he showed me care, he gave me comfort, he expressed love. We have gone further than i`ve ever imagined. Ive learned to trust again. slowly, but honestly.

i love you sean. and i`m sorry for the pain i`ve caused.

so. on sunday right ofter the day of the GC concert, me, sean n jon went to sean`s hometown : KUALA PILAH. hahha. it started out like this. sean woke me up at 6 in da mornin so i got ready n went to wake jon up. after everyone was ready we had to go to the federal hotel to meet up with sean`s aunt who is supposedly suppose to take us there. but since shes from sumwhere else, she had to rent a car n tht car had to b a proton wira. n apparently, sean didnt inform her tht me n jon were comin along -.- so, his aunt was like u all wont fit in since she had her husband n a guest along. me n jon were givin sean bad stares n started nagging.LOL. so anyways, his aunt gave us cash to take a train to seremban n from there a bus or sumthin. so okay, we wasted Rm8 goin there.. n now we`re wasting RM15 to get to the closest ktm station which was kl sentral. anyways, we boarded the train to seremban n it was bout 3 stops away when we stoped in this place called LABU which in english wud b PUMPKIN. n the train driver was like… y`all hav to get off here coz the train  cant go to seremban due to a landslide. u hav to board the next train. we were like FUCKFUCKFUCK. so we were waiting at the station.. which was in the middle of nowhere, with bout 50 people we dunno.. n the blazing sun, n there wasnt a cafe or car in sight. n we were hungry n thirsty n had nth to drink or eat. WORSE, i was havin cramps. so basically i was PISSED. n started gettin all hyper n crazy! sigh. after bout an hour waiting, the train to seremban finally came! so it was pretty crowded n yeah.. we got to seremban. n i saw a mall n mcdonalds n i gave sean n jon this pity look sayin i NEED A DRINK. but no, we had to get to KP asap. (sigh) so we took a cab n it costed us Rm40. n the road goin up to KP was all winding n it was goin uphill as if u were goin to cameron highlands. n i was ill n sleepy so i just slept! not botherin bout anyone or anythin.

finally in KP after 40 mins of windingness n we had to go to this temple thingy for lunch n to meet up with sean`s family. now, NOTE TO SELF: me n jon had no idea wat to do n like.. we`ve never been to one of these things b4. so okay, we had to cover our hair with this orange bandana to pay respect or sumthin. we went in.. n had this sweet mouldy thing which apparently, the oil of it can make hair grow out of ur face faster. (right) n we ate n met his aunts n uncles n cousins. after tht, we went to play snooker but on the way there, this indian dude with dall on his moustache came up to us speakin tamil. n we`re all just lost O.O n jons like… WE DONT BLOODY UNDERSTAND YOU. so the guy spoke like bm+english. n he started talkin bout his mum`s death n asked jon to like touch his head n apparently it was all soft. GROSS. then he started  talkin to me n like pullin my shoulder n stuff (which fucking freaked me out) n said tht his sis-in-law looked like me n was chinese as well. i was like WHATTHEFUCKGETAWAYFROMME! so we sort of balied n started walkin n he followed us n started beggin for money. ps. sean was just quiet. n we were like.. we hav no money, n the guy already had like curry n rice from the temple n he looked drunk n all. so we ended up just runnin away n ignorin him hopin we wont see him again. after tht, we just played pool n went to sean`s grandmum`s place which was beautifully renovated n his grandmum was oh-so cute.lol.n he took us around the area n we celebrated her birthday- awww!. n yeah.. we went home at like 10 n got home at 11 plus. n i was dead tired n sleepy n just slept throughout the journey on sean`s shoulder. sighhh.

xx

21st April 2007: MTV Live presented Good Charlotte. n it FRIGGIN ROCKED.

my friend won tics to the show, n i only knew tht he was sellin it the day b4 the  concert. so i was literally begging n bidding for it with this other guy. but my fren decided to give the tic to the other guy n i was mad n upset eventho he won after a scissors-paper-stone competition ( weird i know). when i got home, i got a phonecall sayin tht the guy wants to give me the tic after all coz he felt bad after seeing me so upset ( i was desperate). In the end, i got the tics at a price of Rm80. *sob* n turns out Sean was goin too! he got tics from his frens. so yeah..

It took us a 40 min train ride to get to Bkt Jalil n it started rainin. n i was like. fuck no.. i did not pay rm80 for it to rain. but it wasnt rainin at the stadium when we got there so i was relieved. then the horror came. the queue was FUCKIN LONG! n they havent even opened the gates yet. we were like WTF!! but sean escaped it coz he had a VIP tic with farrah so.. yea! but we finally got in after a while n i got to know dasya n arlene on the way ( they r friggin cool n hyper! =) ) n when we got in, it was already bout 7.30 n like.. the stage area was already crowded. n we were kinda bumped. so we met up with sean n farrah after they told us tht they had no alcohol at the VIP area which was shitty, n we found a spot with an OK view. so the 3 local bands performed. erman was HYPER.lol. n suddenly, the VIP gates just opened n we all ran into it n found a spot pretty close to the stage. Then i got a phonecall from jon sayin hes at the concert, n im like HOWONEARTH?? so we got him into VIP as well.. n we all had fun goin hyper n jumpin around. yipee! -.- Good Charlotte finally performed n they rocked! ILOVEYOUBILLYMARTIN! n they switched guitars btw every song. after all the jumpin around, concert finally ended at like 11 or so. n we got a ride home n we were all friggin tired n sweaty, n stinky n sticky.lol. so yea!!

xx

so yeah, im currently like piss tipsy right now after havin a couple of drinks. screw it. these 2 weeks hav been nth but shit. it was gud, some of the days. but they turn out bad anyways. wtf am i sayin. i wish i had an unlimited supply of vodka so i wudnt hav to keep sneakin vodka out of my mum`s stash. which is basically almost gone thanks to me. fuck. im gonna get so fuckin screwed if she finds out. oh n to my surprise. im actually startin to love beer! so yay me. *sigh* this is sum random dumb ass shit blog to fill up boredem. whateva happened to the good times eh?

xx - go screw urself for ur own sake =)

For those who missed the very recent Muse World Tour Concert, i seriously pity u. LOL.  I was there with Sean =) n it FUCKING ROCKED!!! They started off with Knights Of Cydonia n went on n on -Hysteria, stockholm syndrome, absolution, STARLIGHT, map of the problematique, soldier`s poem, take a bow. LOADS MORE-

everyone was singing to starlight! but it wasnt as good as the one where they performed at the Eroupe Music Awards. but everythin was worth RM113. oh btw, we crashed into the RM283 area =P 

i LOVE MUSE. i finally get to see em. n they ROCKED MY WORLD!! pics available at my profile. well, load em tomoro lah. im dead tired n hungry right now n i hav school in the mornin. so ciao people =) happy blogging!

mwahxx.xoxo.Mel

So yea, here i am again. bored-er than usual. god knows why. tho im LOADED with homework!! its only like the 5th week of the year n im gettin behind of homework. yeah i know, i dont deserve to b a jujurian! LOL. anyways. for Kemahiran Hidup (KH) we`ve started on our PMR project. which SUCKS. coz well.. its tonnes of work yah know?!?!?!? then of course we still have to do these notes thingy!! its blowin my homework mind!!!. then, math chapter 3: CIRCLES. woahhh im just LOST in this weyhh!!!.. at the beginning, im all hyped to do math. but when it comes to circles, i`d rather close the book n start history. which also is a DRAG.

ANYWAYS, enuf pish-poshing bout homework n school n wat nots. My mum just came back from india yesterday bearing wonderful gifts! YAY! hahhaharharhar. she bought me 3 pairs of cargos. AHERM - S sized. but when i tried it on.. its as if i was wearing pants, 5 sizes bigger???  theyre HUGE. think 2 of me can fit in em! lol.. but she got me this really nice skirt n top with shoes.. so yeah. but i kinda miss Giorgio!! boo hoooooo… he was like a stepdad to me… mum says the next time she goes visit him, i could come along. SO YEAY ME!!

2 weeks to CNY! whoot. bad thing is tht my aunts aren`t comin back so the traditional card gambling games r gone n so are my cousins n my nephews n nieces. boohooooooo. which also means less ang paos… NOOOOO!!!

n right after my very anticipated CNY break. i`ll b goin to MUSE concert!!!! whooot! with of course, my baby, Sean! =) then right after tht i hav my 1st tests.. SHIT. better study hard i suppose. like they all say.. STUDY HARD!! PMR YEAR LAH! lol.