these r the shits tht run thru my pwetty lil head lmao

Well, i suddenly got thinkin bout how people cut themself up because theyre depressed or just angry and mad. YES, i  suppose i am an emo. but i sure as hell dont believe in cuttin myself up over crap. everyone is bound to go thru shit in life. There are many ways to deal with it but one of it is not to cut urself. It might give u self satisfactory because cuttin may help release the pain. I have known a few people who have done these things. and i look at them and its just, painful. Theyre like this because of somebody else. so why, hurt urself even more by cuttin urself instead of forgettin bout tht person and move on. or even try fixing it up. Somewhere around last year, i had to go thru some pretty rough probs with some people. and YES, at one point i felt like giving it all up n just die or start a new life in a new place. But then i thought, if i give this all up now, the memory wud still remain, right at the back of my head. So why bother? Well, maybe until today, some of those probs still lasts, but at least im happy with what i have now. I have my pillar of support. The best way to deal with pain is to have great friends. and not those asses that just use you to gain popularity or just to use you till u find someone better. Cutting maybe a way of showin ur personality as maybe a goth or an emo. TRUE. but i think its a stupid thing to do. If u wanna watch urself bleed, why dont just kill urself n be done with it? instead of watchin those scars fade thru years and leave remains of ur past?

ahh well, the year 07 is here. well its been bout 3 weeks since it started n so far there has been some up n downs. well lifes never perfect. anyways, on the first day of school itself,us new form 3 students had streamin. i guess im the only one besides sarah who had to split from our usual group of friends. im officially a jujurian. pfft! Life in this class is totally diff from what i had last year. people here concentrate really hard on their studies. n im like blur n sleepy half of the time. well as for my other frens, theyre back in the same class but we still talk daily so its cool. Other than that, i`ll b goin for the muse concert next month with my babe =) which is great coz im dyin to see em. I guess since dec 06 till now has been wonderful. it of course has been an emotional roller coaster but having sean along the ride has made it all better. Then of course jon n jil n claire whos there for me when i need em n the endless fun i hav with em cheers me up. I just hope there wud b no more drama this year. dont we all need a smooth sailing year? i mean cammon, its PMR year dammit!! hahaha.. so yea. wish the best of luck for 07`! till later, xx.

omg.. haha.. 16th december 2006, i went to rock the world 7! woah.. i had 3 vip passes so yea.. me, my cousin n sean went since i owed him a bday gift..anyways.. went there.. it was boring at first n the place was packed with people. so at first we went to watch reza salleh.. omg tht guy can sing! really good songs n we actually enjoyed it. go to http://www.myspace.com/rezasalleh for more info..lol.. yeah so then we just walked around n then watched couple of other performances. then finally the show we all been waitin for (actually just sean) came.. dragon red performed n it was WILD CRAZY. people was just pushin around n it got scary.lol. but yeh performance fuckin rocked tho. haha.. then we got pics with em n yea.. finally went home. haha… defiantely wont forget this day. never thought it wud turn out this good. n i finally know where petaling street is actually located! haha.. so yea.. anyways.. to my gang..sorry i didnt invite any of u guys.. coz well.. u know wats goin on n yea.. sorry for..err.. wateva i did. anyways.. gtg.. nth much to say anymore. oh yeh.. happy bday to me! haha.. well actually on the 18th but yea.. its comin! hehe.. mwahhh! byeee

xx

-[M]-

ok.. well, i got a new number today.. cudnt get my old one back.. so just ask for it.. if ya want it.. other than tht.. im bein sent over to my aunt`s place tomoro for a week.. thent o my dad`s for bout 2 weeks after tht.. as punishment for sumthin.. i dunno wth i did. so i`ll b back in kl in december.. probably for my aunt`s weddin. i dunno whats gonna happen after tht.. mum said she`ll check on me.. n if i dun get better.. shes gonna send me back for good. thts all.. for now. c ya round guys. gonna miss ya

of all the things tht had to happen to me…. this had to happen.. my phone got stolen today at the park. my frens hav been helpin me out.. tryin to get it back n all. well anyways, just wanna say if u get any msgs from me it aint me.. tht useless shithead is the one wastin my credit sendin useless msgs.. from wat ive heard.. he has already sent one to a lot of my frens. so im sorry. anyways y am i apologizin.. i didnt even write it. im gonna get a new number soon.. so if ya`ll want it.. ask for it.. dun just wait for it to drop from d sky. anyways..wat else happened today..oh yeah .. me n jon C got high on vodka..hahhaha cudnt walk properly n jon was talkin lots n lots of crap.. not a good experience.. trust me XP..haha..

to the shithead who stole my phone  fuck u for taking it n sendin stupid msgs. my fren knows who u r.. if he n his frens find u.. ur dead. oh n thx guys again, for helpin out. sorry if i got any of u into trouble.

holy shxt! haha.. cant believe it happened to me. i got egged in school today.. since it was my last day of school.. more like a pre birthday bash.. 10 eggs… i think jon n jil smashed 2 on my head.. hurt real bad!! oh not to forget the cold splashes of water.. PEOPLE im already sick here!!! right now i cant breathe thru my nose nor smell anythin coz my nose is just soooo blocked n im coughin a lot.. my hair still smells like egg eventho i washed it 3 times today. oh well… it was.. an experience..hahha.. sorry jil, couldnt resist not hugging u!! oh n thx for lettin me come ova n take a shower..hahaha.. till next time.. ciao

after all these probs, i finally realise im not really happy here in KL.. the probs tht i hav to face in school is just terrible.. i think if u make a tv show out of it.. it could b a better hit than deperate houswives. after thinkin bout it, mayb i shud just go back to perak. its the only way i cud b happy coz i cud start over again. i actually asked my mum bout movin back to my dad.. she actually said yes.. all i hav to do now is ask my dad n really decide whether i wanna go back, which i think at this point wud b almost a yes coz stayin here is just pointless unless i wanna face more probs. well im thinkin hard bout it.. hopefully i`ll make the right choice coz all year i think ive been makin fxcked up choices..

i think i lost it. i lost my friendship with probably the craziest people ive ever met coz of sumthin i said or did.. wateva i did or say.. dun get y they took it to heart.. if they were the frens i thought they were.. they wud know i was kiddin.. but oh well.. guess theyre not.. i think they misunderstood wut i was tryin to say or do. as i said b4.. 2006 sucks.. dun think ive had a year worse than this.. i dun give a shit.. im just gonna go on.. finish this screwed up year. hopefully start a better one next year. dunno how the hell im gonna do tht.. screw 2006!

well well wel, i’m on raya break now n its been ok… had a ok weekend, my dad came up to kl with my stepmum,bro(brat) , n of course my half sis.. gosh shes soooooo cute! only 5 months old n shes really quiet -thts the best part-  anyways.. spent my weekend at my aunt’s place in mont kiara.. bitten to death by mosquitoes! went for a movie on sunday with ollie n mark.. watched stormbreaker! omg the guy is soooo cute! hehe..must find out wut his name is… hmm… then on monday went for a movie with dad n stepmum n watched devil wears prada.. suppose to watch wtc but tics were sold out.. well at least my bro was with my mum n not with me… it wud hav been worst if he was. was kinda weird on saturday night.. cant really talk bout it.. i guess im ok now.. i hav 3 more papers to sit on monday.. then im freee completely till open day.. wonder wats my mum’s reaction is gonna b when she sees my grades!! oh well.. let u know in bout a months time.. anyways.. gtg nth much to say.. cheerio -urgh so cheezy! haha- byeee

xoxo

-[M]-

omg!!! finals r finally ovaaaaa!!!!! freedom at last! haha.. well at least till my results come out.. kinda worried..hahhaa.. kinda screwed up a few questions..haha.. oh well.. had a blast yesterday! haha.. me, ollie,sarah,mark, safar, adam n khalilul went out to bangsar till like 10! haha.. had drinks.. took tonnes of pics just to proove tht sarah looks hawt in pics! hahaha.. more pics comin dun worry..wahahhaa.. err well.. im gonna b spendin raya break with my frens! or i might go back n see my dad..hahaha.. havent decided.. oh well.. hehe.. err. i guess thts all.. just celebratin my freedom!! ouh n end of the school term..haih.. 2006 went by fast.. but im actually kinda glad its endin -with school- lots of probs.. haha. hopefully next year wud b better! hehe.. crossed my fingers! hehee.. well c ya`ll later.. gonna sneak out.. XP haha

xoxo

-[M]-